Dear Jane by Jephthah

I implore you to take a chance on me, another chance. It’s not like I have always given you reason to shed tears. I have had my days; good and bad, so did you. But I am willing to give this a try again, if you would try! If you would try we will save our dying love.

Those moments I filled your days with the sweet scent of lavender fields, days I made u gay and blood strolled to your malars to flush them, times I sent you those messages that made your cheeks leap for joy exposing those perfect dentition. I could count, right! I could recount number of times you told me I was the best thing that happened to you, how I was the only person in the world that understood you, the one and only person that knew the right button to push to make you the beautiful lady you are!

But that was yester-years, we got married and it all changed. You started growing nauseous, you nerves became peripheral and little wrongs would prick them so hard they would be inflamed, just like your ego too; they got so big our colossal and beautiful house couldn't contain them. Oh yeah! You started growing fat, I would have contained them if you would work with me, but you wouldn't, you loved that cushion, remote and junks than our marriage.

I can remember vividly, it’s printed in high definition on my mind, that day on our wedding. I remember your beautiful smile and those brown eyes that looked into the future with hope. We had a perfect life, remember? You were in so much hurry to leave your parents, because you knew your life was meant to be spent with me. Remember I told you, we needed time to know ourselves better, but you wouldn't listen; love blinded your ears and deafened your eyes. You said we were meant to be, "you just know when someone is right for you", you iterated. Babe, am I still right? Because I have been wrong all along!

It’s my fault too, I can't deny that. You loved attention, you loved being held and cuddled. You love snuggling in bed at night. But I left you to the comfort of the pillow and that dry upholstery at night. I loved working, I loved you, making a choice is being at sea, dear. You said what we had was enough, I couldn't agree. I wanted you to feel that I was capable of providing. Yes, I provided materials but I left the most important thing to me, I couldn't provide the intangible, the love and the care.

I loved solving issues quickly, I preferred proffering solutions, but all you wanted was someone to listen. I had no ears for thousand words, any eyes to watch your lips cracking, giving ways to wail and tear hails. It wasn't fair I know. I knew that was why you sought comfort in the little things that wouldn’t bring tears to your eyes; the chairs, the bed, the food and your mind.

But we can solve this. We can rearrange this wobbling life; we can take baby steps and retrace this. It’s easy to destroy but hard to build but like tending to greens, we can live again like we used to. We will be happy again. We will have reasons to smile, hold hands, snuggle, neck, shout and make babies. I love you, I have always loved you, and I just lost my way trying to express it.

Sorry I blamed you first too, I am working on accepting my flaws and not blaming others for what went wrong in my life. I am trying, and this goes to show you how much I am willing to work to make us happy again. Babe, please I implore you, don't leave yet, don't divest my life of your love. I know deep down you still love me. It’s been 4 long years now but you are still here waiting. I am here now. Let's work together to push our life out of the ditch.

John