Sister Rose has given birth
to a bouncing baby
girl and Sister Favor has
given birth to a
bouncing baby boy. Why did
you clap louder
when I said bouncing baby
boy? See, brethren
let me tell you this, Child
is Child and it is from
the Most High God whether
baby boy or baby
girl. So I don’t
like it when I say baby girl and
you just clap, but when I say
baby boy you
furnish your clapping with
whoops and
hallelujahs. When I say boy
or girl, clap with the
same enthusiasm. Let’s
not be like the people of
this world. So I said that to
draw your attention. I
can no more ignore such
attitudes. We are not of
the world.
‘Peculiar Women’, you are the group
in the
house this week. Last week
you were the group
in the house but you did such
shoddy job I have
to call you back this week.
You women did not do
anything at all, at all. You
were supposed to
clean the premises: pull out
the weeds growing
through the pavement cracks,
arrange the seats
and wipe dust off them on
Saturday morning in
preparation for today’s
service. But you didn’t…
you didn’t! Where is your leader? Sister
Veronica, you have to
assemble your team again
and get them to do their
work. This is the Lord’s
house; we must treat it as
such. You cannot treat
it anyhow, anyhow….
The ushers brought it to my
notice that some of
you give them a hard time at
their work, that
some of you are in the habit
of making trouble
with them. They ask you to
sit here and you
refuse. That’s
not Christ-like. When you come
here, swallow your pride, all
of it, and allow
yourselves to be properly
guided. We know most
of you here are well-to-do
and the others are still
coming up the social radar,
but when we gather
here, we all become members
of the body of
Christ. You learn to play
second fiddle. God is no
respecter of persons. You
must conduct
yourselves properly; this is
the house of God.
Brother Tobechi and Sister
Edith would be
getting married on the 17th
of this month… put
your hands together for them.
Wow! I am so
excited! Oh Boy! Where is Bro Tobechi…?
Alright, and Sister Edith….Oh
lovely. Can the two
of you step forward please so
that everyone
would have a better look and
stop craning their
necks …?
Good. Brother Tobe is a very dedicated
member and has been with us
for the past five
years. You all know him. He
has served the Lord
in the music department,
playing the drums and
the piano. I call him, My Son
of Consolation. In all
the drummers that I have had
these years, he
has stirred my heart most
because of his
commitment. Yes, you are free
to clap. I
remember the first day he
came here and
immediately he joined the
music department and
has been there all these
years. Sister Edith, you
are in safe hands. My son,
Tobe, is a humble man
and would surely take care of
you. Haha, she’s
shy. Alright go back to your
seats. Clap for them
as they do that.
I wish many of you young men
will imitate Tobe
and stop this your
gallivanting. Stop parading
these sisters for years and
yet you will not marry
them after you have blocked
the road for
possible suitors. Every
Sunday, I see you guys,
you think I don’t
see you, well you got it wrong.
Four, five years and you
people are still
gallivanting and
fraternizing, no, it is not funny,
don’t
laugh. You don’t know you are causing the
devil to tempt you with these
prolonged
engagements, giving him a
foothold in your life.
If you are not ready, leave
the woman alone.
Don’t
tell me, Pastor, I want to taste and see.…
And those of you praying for
life partners do not
sweat it. In due time, the
Lord will surprise you
(!). I said the Lord will
surprise you (!).
Next week Friday is our
ministry’s all night
meeting, from 9.00pm till the
crack of dawn.
Endeavor to attend. Now many
of you dread
these all night meetings. That
is not good. With
these happenings around us,
there are some
nights we need to forgo sleep
and make
intercessions. Look at this brother…
Brother
please stand up. Can you see
him? Good. Look at
his broad chest, an obvious
testimony that he
spends amble time at the
gymnasium. Judging
from his looks, you have to
be extra careful not
to get into a fistfight with
him lest he topples you
and makes mincemeat of you.
Sit down brother.
Thanks. That is how your
inner man will be when
you pray often. All these
small, small devils would
not be harassing you anyhow,
anyhow- in your
academics, your career, your
relationships etc,
etc. So make out time to
attend this upcoming
all night meeting. It will
surely help you.
Erm, (what was this I wanted
to talk about
again?). Yes! Next week is
JAMB. Listen up you
youngsters. Sit down and
read. Leave all these
‘pinging’ and 2go‘ing’.
You will end up
distracting yourselves. And
those of you planning
to register at miracle
centers, woe betide you!
You will so fail! Go and mark
my words. What is
wrong with children of
nowadays that they
cannot sit and learn, eh? If
you have already
registered at a miracle
center, better go and take
back your money because you
will have such a
miraculous failure at your
miracle center. Ok,
keep laughing; you’d
say I told you.
Alright, before we close
today’s service, is there
anyone here, and today is
your first time of
worshiping with us? Is there
anyone, I want to
welcome you specially.
Wow! You are all
welcome. Give them a round of
applause. You are
welcome brother, you are
welcome sister, and
God bless you. Ushers give
them that form to fill.
Choir, sing for them….
That song was done
specially for you. We have
lots of goodies for you;
don’t
be in a hurry to leave. You are only a first
timer once. We all came just
like you. Ushers lead
them out and help them with
their forms. Keep
clapping for them.
Now can the rest of the
congregation arise, let’s
close this service. What an
awesome time in
God’s
presence. Tell someone beside you, ‘your
week is gonna be great.’
Tell the next person….
At this moment I will call on
my beautiful wife to
lead us in the closing
prayers. Honey step
forward….
Let’s
share the ‘Grace’….
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